Overcoming Obstacles

“Life is not easy for any of us.  But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” Marie Curie

Retirement: the definitions of which are as numerous as the lucky individuals who attain this well-earned status in their lifetime.  Goals of retiring are also various and often include travel, spending more time with family and friends.

My husband’s dream for retirement was to reside in a waterfront community, embracing the expected perks of fishing, boating and cooling gulf breezes; a dream that we have been blessed to realize, though a few years before I was eligible to collect my earned monetary benefits.  As I somewhat patiently counted down the years, then months, then days until I could apply for and receive a monthly check from Social Security, my dream continued to be the pursuit of my writing.  

When I began suffering gradual neck spasms and the sensation of heaviness and extreme range of motion deficit nearly five years ago, I sought medical attention.  Multiple specialists were consulted, numerous tests performed, and several therapeutic and pharmaceutical remedies recommended, prescribed and employed; with no definitive diagnosis or etiology nor relief of my symptoms.

Upon visiting with a neuroscience specialist in June 2015, her physician assistant recognized my ongoing syndrome as that of torticollis. 

Cervical dystonia, also called spasmodic torticollis, is a painful condition in which your neck muscles contract involuntarily, causing your head to twist or turn to one side. Cervical dystonia can also cause your head to uncontrollably tilt forward or backward.

A rare disorder that can occur at any age, cervical dystonia most often occurs in middle-aged people, women more than men. Symptoms generally begin gradually and then reach a point where they don't get substantially worse.

There is no cure for cervical dystonia.  There also is no known exact cause, though I remain quite certain that my years of employment as a transcriptionist absolutely aggravated my condition.  That my chronic and worsening muscle pain, pulling and deteriorating range of movement negatively affected my quality of life became more evident.  The stress of maintaining the position working at my desk top computer exacerbated my neck pain.  As I looked toward my eventual retirement, my hope was that separating myself from the posture required during my work day would provide benefit.

In the spring of this year, retirement benefits commenced.  Unfortunately, my dystonia symptoms progressed, even after therapies to include quarterly botulinum toxin injections, muscle relaxants, pain medications, cervical injections, acupuncture, strengthening exercises, as well as physical therapy.  With the freedom, time and desire now at hand to pursue my lifelong dream of being a writer, I found myself less than motivated as I allowed my disorder to define me.   The discomfort of constant neck spasms, coupled with the inability to bear the weight of nor hold my head up distracted efforts at achieving my lifelong goal.  Mild depression led to reconciling that perhaps dystonia would destroy my dream. 

With much encouragement, direction and support from my dear friend of 50 years, the author of A Novel Creation, I was eager and thrilled to pen a personal blog describing my newly achieved retired status and its significance in regards to my writing goals.  Being employed as a regular contributor for an on-line home health care aide publication, I continued to hone my research and writing skills.  I eventually became aware that celebrating the accomplishment of my written creations far outweighs the pain and discomfort I have realized for so long. 

Remaining determined to achieve my goal of succeeding as a published writer, and with the persistence of an idea and initial research underway for a young adults’ nonfiction story, I know the most optimal treatment for my diagnosed disorder is to accept and persevere, learning to utilize my gifts to strengthen and motivate.  Perhaps it is this current mindset that is allowing for a mild improvement with my second try at a course of physical therapy.

My prayers, of course, continue to be for a cure in the very near future.  But, I have waited a lifetime to achieve success in the pursuit of my passion.  Refusing to allow this physical obstacle to be a disincentive is my new mantra!

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss

The Three R's: Refreshed, Renewed, Retired!

I could get used to this retirement scene, now already four weeks into what we all dream of throughout our working lives and honestly report that I have managed to accomplish a few realistic goals I assigned myself, having absolutely no experience with what this new journey would entail.  Number one goal (to not set the alarm for 6 a.m.) was the easiest to attain.  Of course, my body’s clock fought my perceived ideal wake up time of closer to 8 a.m., but I eventually won the battle.  I love slowly waking up with the sunrise, sea gulls chatting, gulf breezes gently stirring the bedroom curtains and my sweet sleeping husband, taking time to consider plans for the day before my feet hit the floor (coffee on the deck?, a walk around the neighborhood?, surprise Marty with breakfast?, work on my blog?).  

                                                                                                

Another goal of cleaning and preparing our guest bedroom for any anticipated company was successful after months of its only utility being storing holiday decorations.  I am reading, writing and coloring more, stressing less and even occasionally napping mid afternoon. 

When employed “9 to 5” for multiple (45+) years, it’s a big deal to one day, in the middle of the week (on a Wednesday, for goodness’ sake!), decide to put together a pot of homemade spaghetti sauce, an enjoyable task that up until now had only been reserved for the weekends.   Baking Marty’s favorite (from-scratch) oatmeal-raisin cookies on a recent Monday morning trumps transcribing medical records any day!  You might even spot us at our local Denny’s mid morning/mid week for a veggie omelet and coffee.

Though our dreams of my retirement always included impromptu sunset cruises in our deck boat, afternoons of fishing and/or lounging in the pool, the timing for such seasonal activities is not quite optimal with a cool and rainy spring season currently spoiling our relaxing outdoors.  But, there is no doubt that with the guaranteed arrival of Florida’s Nature Coast summer temperatures, enjoying our waterfront paradise is our eventual priority! 

Beyond the limitations the weather is creating, the struggles of dealing with obstacles in health maintenance continue.  Why can’t we retire at 32 as opposed to 62, at our most healthy selves?  Though we refuse to allow minor fitness matters to diminish our activity levels, our physical abilities don’t always match our mind’s desires.  For example, Marty wishes for us to visit and climb the Dunn’s River Falls in Ocho Rios, Jamaica in the near future (again), but my reality leans toward happily remembering the one and only time I accomplished this feat!

Kick-starting my goal of pursuing writing is slow-going as well, though I have had two paid stints with an on-line magazine since retiring.  The details and outlining of a specific young adult nonfiction story continue to engage my mind during the days and sometimes arouse me from sleep.  With encouragement from friends and multiple resources for education regarding the writers’ process, confidence and motivation to get started are all I require. 

Thankfully, retirement is far from humdrum.  “What ever will I do?” has become “what necessary, yet relaxing, project may I complete today that I failed to accomplish while working?”  Yep, there are absolutely no regrets regarding this decision!

If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would realize a dream of waterfront living and that I would retire comfortably and happily at the young age of 62, I would not have believed it.  A multitude of life changes, both intended and otherwise, have led me to my cherishing every blessing cast my way.  There are those who believe the word retirement connotes a formidable change, a path to the end of life, a symbol of aging and the consequences, real and imagined, of such.  That I prefer to label my end of 45 years of working for a living as being re-freshed fuels my optimism for a gloriously relaxing and successful retirement.

"Salt life", originally a sticker for vehicles to identify a surfer, bodyboarder or general beach bum whose life centered around the ocean or related beach going activities has become a common phrase for those of us fortunate enough to live on the water and be a part of the wonders that part of nature affords us. 

My husband of 12 years and I share a paradise in what is called the Nature Coast, a 7 county area located from the panhandle of Florida to the South boundary of Pasco County, situated on the Gulf of Mexico.  Our community, aptly named Leisure Beach, boasts man made canals bordering each street (isle) with a 10 minute boat ride to the Gulf.  It is not uncommon for us to simply sit out on our dock that extends over the canal, enjoying a meal, a drink, each other's company as well as the frequent sightings of a family of dolphins, manatees, ducks and yes, the occasional shark and even gator that may find its way via the marsh that lines the south end of our neighborhood. 

Residing in a waterfront community offers an experience that does not compare to any other.  Though a good majority of our neighbors are "part-timers" (snow birds, many call such residents), the underlying vibe of everyone we've met is one of a never ending vacation, while many continue to be actively working.  That I am going to "re-fresh" in such a beautiful paradise where we can jump in our boat in a minute's warning, heading out to our "back yard" island beach, grab a fishing pole and relax on our dock, cool off in the pool day or night, is truly a dream come true.

With the suggestion and persistent encouragement of a lifelong and published author friend, I begin my new journey with you, sharing the calming moments as my husband and I spend a day filming dolphins following alongside our lazy spontaneous boat ride, the excitement of snagging a redfish or snook from our backyard dock, my experimenting with a recipe for such, collecting delicate shells from the nearby sand bar or simply relaxing as we take joy in the quiet nights with a constant refreshing gulf breeze, all of which define our "salt life" paradise.